about 1 year ago

Technically, so far as a common musical language is concerned. I can’t pick up a guitar and play what I want. Don’t know any chords. Which is part of why I feel so little ownership. I’ll have an idea, but what happens is usually different. It has also led to a sense of isolation, people asking me to play something specific for them or improvise with them, me not knowing how, or feeling embarrassed to explain that I don’t know how to repeat myself or speak the common language. At the one language I’ve developed, I am fluent. I’m just alone with it sometimes, and it doesn’t help with other life challenges, like dating or balancing a checkbook. I imagine it is something akin to getting really good at a video game, developing a skill that cannot be shared with other skill-sets. I’m an idiot in many other departments; remembering to eat, doing laundry, finishing sentences.

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